depression

man this sucks.
im missing sabrina, adilah and aziemah. i want to talk to them. can only talk to them at night now. ):

i'm kinda losing it here. things i want to strive having, wanting them to be true, are getting further away. so much to do, but nothing seems to be cooperating. not feeling too good now.

am listening to FM80.2 - Japanese radio - and its playing some quite sad song. i'm so so tired. though i slept almost about 10 hours. i have to do my work. i have things i need to do. i think i'll just force myself to do them later. its so tiring.

i have a feeling its going to be a shitty christmas. at times like this, i will be like oh fuck, having my Birthday on the day of a Festive day is so sucky. dammit. this kinda thing. because, once Christmas gets shitty, that means i wouldn't feel like my birthday's here or something. and FYI. Birthdays are frigging important to me, cos they mean a lot. man this really sucks.

so much to do. so much to think.
Christmas this year = no friends, no relatives. only the same boring people i can't wait to be away from.



this really freaking sucks.